JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you had me at cake vodka
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
