I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
