And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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