i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
