My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Randomize
