Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
