we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you inspire me to be a worse person
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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