theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
