He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My penis needs a shock collar
This is classic penis vs brain.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
