She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
