Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
