Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I see more hoeing in ur future
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