Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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