also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
