Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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