this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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