At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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