I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE