i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Randomize
