Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?