Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps