while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just blew my weed a kiss
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Sext me about skeletons
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.