"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
