it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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