Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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