I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
