just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
