I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
