Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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