If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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