I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i was born a porn star she said
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
