i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
