so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
