Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
