just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success