pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
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I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's never too late to be topless.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
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How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.