THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy