my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.