you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
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My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
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It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!