Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
