They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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