you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
