is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There's always time for handjobs
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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