im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
