When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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