I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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