We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
