YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
