everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
