Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
