yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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