Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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