Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
