they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
