That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize