Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
