I'm gonna have a badass scar
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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