Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hello my rib-scented angel!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
