I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
