i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It was like getting head from an anaconda
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
