it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
