Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
