I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
