I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
