when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
