Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
